Planning your Wedding is the most joyous task but can easily turn into the most stressful. All too often do Couples experience friction within their relationship as well as the added stress from Family, friends & even some Vendors. In this blog we will touch points on stress triggers, how to handle stress in your relationship and how to stop stress from Family & vendors.
The Relationship Stress
The most common trigger with your partner is Money. Money can turn things ugly very quickly. Following the below steps can help alleviate some of the tension in your home relationship during your wedding planning.
- Create a budget Spreadsheet. Calculate what you know and what you estimate for all vendors and add additional cushions of about $2,000. Creating a budget spreadsheet allows you to have a general idea of what things will cost and also gives you both the opportunity to see all transactions on paper so there is little room for surprises. Adding cushions will help for the last minute additions. The bigger the Cushion, the less stress.
- Be realistic with your budget. You know your current financials and you know what you can afford. To avoid stress, do not plan beyond your means. Even with family offering to pay, do not place all of your wedding budget plans into this as things & life happens for everyone.
- Communicate with your Mate. Always keep each other in the loop when it comes down to spending money during this time. You are becoming partners for life and this will be your first test and Husband & Wife.
Another trigger to your relationship stress is Theme, style & size. For more details on Choosing your Theme, Please Click HERE to view our Choosing your Theme Blog. Choosing your Theme, Style & size also will play a large factor in your budget. Here are some tips on dealing with the tension.
- Create a draft of your guest list. Start with closest family. After applying the family that you know will attend, Create your Wedding party list. Many forget to factor in the wedding party numbers resulting in your guest going up 10-15 people. These guests should be factored in up front. After the Family and Wedding party, start adding in extended family and friends that you would love to come. Once you have created your draft Guest lists, This will be the starting point and base line of your wedding size when you view Caterers and Venues as this number is the main factor in price with these Vendors.
- Listen to your mate’s vision. Weddings are about 2 different people, uniting as one, not the “Bride’s only” wedding. Incorporating both individual personalities and views of the wedding day will not only add special touches to your ceremony, it will ensure that you both enjoy this day.
- Do not buy any wedding décor until you both have agreed on a Theme, Size & style. Refer back to the Choosing your Theme blog and Section # 1 in this blog.
The Family Stress
It’s bad enough you have tension on the home front with your partner but adding the stress of family & friends into this mix will have you committed into a psych ward! Everyone will have an opinion, objection and just plain get on your nerves. Here are some tips to eliminate the Family stress.
- Give out assignments from the beginning. Once you choose your Wedding party, make it known to everyone what your needs are. Being a part of a wedding party is a high honor and they were chosen to accompany you on your special day. Give out task for them to do to help give you one less thing to worry about. Example: Having your Maid of Honor/Best Man be the point of contact for all other wedding party members.
- Remember, IT’S YOUR WEDDING!! Do not allow family and friends steer you away from you & your partner’s vision for your day. you are not planning their wedding, you are planning yours. Do not walk into your wedding day that reflects your best friend’s personality. You will be quickly irritated at your own wedding.
- Do not shop for your Wedding Dress/ Tux with your bridal party. This only will make your wedding dress shopping trip a disaster. You are the Bride & Groom. Shop for your dress & tux without the wedding party to make sure that the attention remains on you and what you want.
- If you have that Mother/Father/friend that has to control everything around, appoint people to them that they listen to if they get out of line.
- Certain details of your wedding should only be reserved and a decision being made between you and your partner. Just like shopping, your friend will have you spending more money than you should on things you don’t need. Refer back to the Relationship Stress section.
The Vendor Stress
In the Wedding Industry, a great wedding vendor will show compassion, professionalism and character but just as in anything in life, there are a few that are not so good or that wedding professional is really good but your relationship & family stress will overflow onto your Vendors. Click HERE to view our Must ask Questions for your Wedding Vendors blog.
- Choose a vendor that represents you and your mate’s personality. Do an in person consult, many offer this complimentary, so you can compare personalities because this will be the person you will be in contact with and placing your wedding in this person’s hand up until that final hour.
- Know your contract and what you have paid. Many Vendors have several packages to help customize to Client needs to keep prices competitive however, the reason why you choose the package you did is because of your budget. Many go above and beyond for Clients but please remember that time is allotted for each client based on packages.
- HIRE A PLANNER or at least a Day of Planner/Coordinator. I am not just adding this due to me being a Planner, I am saying this to make sure that the relationship, Family & Vendor stress stays down. All too often does a Couple think that they can with no Planner or stick with the Banquet Captain as the Lead contact and think that Their Wedding will go off without a hitch. Reality: Things happen but Planners just act fast to make sure no one notices and to keep everything running smooth. You do not want to be the go to person on the day of your wedding for Vendors or have family/friends do the job to where they cannot enjoy your day with you.
- Do your research on your Vendor. We all have that family member or friend referring their family member or friend as a wedding Vendor. Please note that Wedding Vendors are trained, licensed and insured. Example: A wedding DJ is completely different than a DJ. Wedding DJ’s are trained to play only Clean Music; to Emcee and to follow a strict Timeline as well as they are designed to cater to all ages and genres.
If you have an issue, question or just need some advice, follow this blog and post your comments/question below and one of our Wedding professionals or Bride & groom to be can help you out of your Stress!
Photography by: Lasting Impressions by Nicole